Sunday, June 15, 2008

Today's rant: mean girls

*Client knowledge has been updated!* *Client knowledge has been updated!*

Today, after church, we went to BK for lunch. Kate asked to go to the playground, which was fine with us, while we ordered. Then, Brooks and I joined her in the play area while Scott got our food.

I watched Kate as she played. She was the only child out there at the time. Another family of younger kids came in, and another little girl slowly walked towards the play area. Kate asked her if she would like to play on the slide, and she looked at Kate as if she was yesterday's trash and said, "No". Kate didn't think much about it, and just went off and played. I, however, was FURIOUS.

Of course, I was angry because that was MY daughter that child was so RUDE to. But, it also brought back a few memories of others that have been that ugly to me - especially in the years before high school. One in particular happened at church. I guess that doesn't surprise many.

Even thinking on it now aggravates me. How in the world do you teach your child to have the self esteem to not take negative people like that seriously, when they have to have those things happen to develop the self esteem they need? I never want those things to ever happen to our kids. Yet, I know they will.

I don't think I am ready for the junior high years.

I am glad they are some time away.


sweeter and the bubbas said...

OOOOhhhh girl, bring out those mommy claws. I'm with you...if I teach my kids ONE THING, I want them to be kind to others. Kudos to sweet Kate for being kind! :-)

Melissa Lester said...

I'm so relieved that "Mean Girls" story did not take place in Bible class, because the way Kate and Mary Ashley are outnumbered, she would have to be one of the villains!

You have me curious now about what happened with you at church. I remember one time playing downstairs at our church building as a little girl and going to the bathroom with another girl my age. While we were in there, she started talking about an older girl who I admired. The other girl heard what was being said and assumed I was the one who said it. My friend lied and said it was me, and I was devastated! I was literally shaking I was crying so hard that night, and after that incident my parents never let me go downstairs to play after church! I haven't thought about that in years, but I made it through. And I'm probably nicer because of it!

We all know that sometimes people will be unkind to our children, but here's to praying that the friends they choose will be kind and purehearted!

Sarah said...

That happens a LOT with my Heidi. She is so sweet that even when kids are horribly mean to her she still insists they are her friend. I tell her that they aren't and true friends will cherish her and love her. Once there was this kid at my house for a play date, and he pushed her off the top of the bunk bed and all we heard downstairs was a huge THUMP. I ran upstairs and the little kid was hiding because he knew he had done wrong. I practically dragged that kid down the stairs to his mother for her to deal with him. After I came back from comforting Heidi and bringing her down I found the mother STROKING her child and loving on him because he was oh-so shook up because mean Sarah brought him downstairs. Well, needless to say, that ended the friendship. WHAT is WITH parents who coddle bad behavior and do not INSTILL kindness and good manners??? We left that church and are on the hunt for a new church that have parents who discipline their kids. As you can tell, this story really hit a nerve. It is my biggest rant!

The Epps Family said...

Oooohhh just burns you up, doesn't it??!!? I don't have a girl (yet) but I sure remember how hard it was to be one! A lot of kids do mean things--from words to shoving. Remember my son's collarbone was broken whe he was shoved off a playset at school by another boy. It is very hard to see others treat your kids poorly. Yes, we will have to go through it even more over the years. Bleh.

Three plus Me said...

Kate is such a sweet girl and you are doing a great job raising her! Keep praying...we need those sweet, Christian girls for our boys to marry one day!

Marci said...

I know exactly what you mean but we have to give them a foundation of love and acceptance at home so that when mean girls cross their paths - they will be able to ignore them instead of allowing the feelings of rejection to harvest in them. I found a great resource for raising self esteem levels in girls http://www.highprincess/princessparty.html. They give away a party guide that reinforces self estem and teammanship.

Amy said...

Hey, I was at the swimming pool today and there was some girls being just awful. And honestly I felt kind of relieved I don't have girl. I know I too have memories of other kids' unkind words to me that still get me upset. I wish we could protect our kids from that!