I put my first dog to sleep yesterday.
We got Tristan in 1998. I had just finished my first year of Vet School, and had Mitzi (kinda my first dog) put to sleep after suffering from complications of a brain tumor. I decided that I wanted another dog, and Scott and I took to finding him.
When we brought him home, he was 6 months old. Dad told me that he was the ugliest dog he had ever seen! Shelties do go through a very teenagery phase... and he was definitely in it! But, he was beautiful to me. While he and I weren't the best of friends at first, he quickly became my dog.
I have called him my Shadow. He always would wake up and go with me to the bathroom in the middle of the night. How I missed him when I was in the hospital before Kate was born! When I worked CCW overnight during our senior year, he would be so drowsy, but when I wheeled the laundry down the hall, he would come without hesitation.
In fact, he loved me so much, my sister (when I told her I was pregnant with Kate) asked me, "Well, have you told Tristan?" Still brings a smile to my face! He did great with the kids... great meaning that he didn't care that they were here - as long as he could stay with me. He never cared that much for the other dogs or cats, except for Cary Grant. Tristan was truly a one person dog - my dog.
It has been a hard day today. I expect him everywhere. Always underfoot. Always in the room where I am. At my feet when they landed out of bed this morning. Like I tell my clients, it was the right decision to let him go. A hard decision, but the right decision. He would have been 12 years old on Valentine's Day.
I sure do miss my Shadow.
12 comments:
You are going to be missing Tristan for quite a while. He surely did love you, Kristi! I can't imagine how difficult it had to have been to put him to sleep. You are such a strong woman and I love you very much. Tristan was a good dog and I know he had a great life. Shadow---that's exactly what he was to you---know you will miss him for quite a while....
I find great comfort in knowing that my babies know they are loved. By you description of how he felt about you, Tristan knew he was loved and loved well.
I love you bunches. ♥
I am going to look for something Brent sent me when we had to put Bijou to sleep. I will send it to you if I can find it. My heart goes out to you. During 36 years of marriage we have done that 3 times. It doesn't get any easier.
The greatest love we can show our pets is allowing them to go when it is time. As I have told Aunt J countless times....same for you: your animals know that you love them and they love you back. It's hard to lose such a faithful companion but smile through the tears as you keep the memories alive. Hugs to you.
Bless your heart. It is so hard to loose a dog like that, one that has been your shadow. It took me years to get over loosing Jack, my Aussie, and I know it will be doubly hard with Izzy, my current shadow. But the previous commenter is right,allow them to go when it's time. But it is so hard.
Prayers to you.
Love, Ms. Donna
Kris, we will be thinking about ya. I know this has to be so difficult. Love you, sister!
-Brooke
I am so sorry to hear about Tristan. He as a great dog & I know this will be difficult. Hang in there.
I'm sorry, Kristi. It sounds like you two had great companions in each other. You two were blessed to belong to each other!
I am so sorry to hear this. I am thinking of you.
Oh, Kristi ... I don't know how you had the strength to do that yourself. I know how you feel ... I had to put Lady (my blonde Cocker Spaniel) to sleep back in August. She had cancer. I found out in June and got to spend two whole months of complete quality time with her. That was a gift!!! Like Tristan, she was my shadow and I still miss her terribly! After she was gone, I realized that I had not been alone in my house for years, because she was always with me. Being alone in my house has taken some getting use to. I finally was able to put a picture of her on my dresser a few weeks ago. That has helped. I know you will miss Tristan for a long, long time. But, one thing I know for sure ... he's still there with you, watching your every move. I believe they never really leave us. And that we'll see them again one day. My heart goes out to you sweet girl!
Much love,
Aunt J
You were blessed to have such a wonderful shadow! Thinking of you and sending you hugs!
Kristi, before we got Titus, I would have never understood how you feel. And I still don't really. But I know that whenever something happens to Titus, I don't know how I'll react! It's crazy how we get so attached!!
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